Over the past few weeks, self-reflection has been at an all-time high. Between unexpected life transitions to simply personal effects, I’ve had the opportunity to laugh, cry, pray, talk to my mom – some of which I did repeatedly. Needless to say, a short-lived pity party accompanied the journey.
However, when you find yourself in a place of self-pity, that’s the time to make some decisions. To grab life by the horns and take control of your outcome. Like they say, “10% of a situation is what happens to you, while 90% is how you respond.” We may not have total control of that 10%, but we do have total control over how we respond.
This, in turn, drove me to a further place of reflection, thinking through “what do I really see as being important in MY life? What makes ME smile? What gets ME moving?”
Freedom. The freedom to do what I want, when I want, and as I please.
And I don’t say that as a selfish brat.
I know that everything won’t go my way. It’s not supposed to. Instead, it means that I don’t want to be chained down in the pursuit of achievements and some fantasy tension between what is and what could be. Instead, I want to garden. I want to read great books. I want to peruse magazines. I want to waste time on Facebook, Pinterest, YouTube and the likes. I want to have the freedom to be a bit lazy at times. But I also want to have the freedom to eat healthy and not have to “fit” my workout into my day. I want the freedom to grow in Christ, and not have to worry about whether or not I’ll have time to pray or read my Bible. I want to live.
I’ve been an overachiever the majority of my life. Striking the balance of good grades, popularity, good girl/not-so-good girl, family, church, business owner, and highly involved member of my church has found its way into shaping me into the person I am today. And while none of this will go away, each element will go in its appropriate order. And, yes. God will be first.
While I may no longer strive for overachiever status, my DNA is programmed to operate in excellence. So you’ll probably never see driven Gina go away. But what will change? I hope to exchange the put down the banner of needing to always be on top (competitively speaking) for the banner of always being on top of my freedom to be happy.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. ~Matthew 6:33