Chronicles of Online Dating: This guy

[Sees picture.]this guy

He’s kinda cute.

[Clicks picture. Views more pictures.]

He’s cute but looks a little weird.

[Oh. He’s online. Click to chat. Small talk.]

Then it begins…

Him: Can I ask you a question?

Me: What?

Him: Nevermind.

Me: Whatever?

Him: I don’t want to ask. You may feel some type of way.

Me: Well, you won’t know if you don’t ask. And we won’t know if I’ll feel a type of way if you don’t ask.

Him: It’s been over 10 months since I’ve been in a relationship. Do you ever get in the mood?

Me: Of course. It’s human. [How old is he? 3? Now more skeptical than before.]

[More small talk as I jokingly antagonize him about the wife beaters he had on in his pic. Sexy, much?]

Him: I wanna talk sexy to you, but… (I can’t remember what he said)

Me: [Online guys are pervs] Yeah, it may be better that you don’t.

Him: ok

Me: [Douche]

[Block.] [Reports him to the division of all things inappropriate.]

Too drastic? I’m not really in the market for cyber sex. Go make nice with a computer mouse.

This guy.

Too sexy

And then there was the guy with his top off on 3/5 of his pics looking like all things over-the-top sexy. Dude, put on a shirt.

This guy.

**All exaggeration intended for your comedic relief. Carry on.**

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