12 things that really come out the mouth of my family

Raise you hands if your family is like mine, and you tend to get a laugh from (or maybe be embarrassed by) something they say. This is my family all day long. You gotta have think skin to deal with what may come your way. And if you don’t…well, just wait. You’ll develop it.

  1. Boy, you smell like outside! Last time I checked, when I go outside, I don’t recall a persistentscent
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    My family is not shy in letting me know when I look a mess.

    of funk. That would totally negate the notion of “fresh air”, right?

  2. Jo, close your eyes. As we proceed to remove a clothing item after ensuring his eyes are closed. We obviously don’t want our overwhelming sexiness to influence how the men in our family see women. *insert sarcasm*
  3. Did you brush your teeth today? I need not say more.
  4. Did you put on deodorant today? Because you smelling quite rank.
  5. Come here. Let me smell you. Often said to a child to make sure they’re not rank. And pit sniffing is not off limits.
  6. You must have on a good bra. As they bask in the perkiness of my breast.
  7. Ooh. You sweaty. My family obviously has an obsession with B.O.
  8. Now make sure you [insert verb] real good. There is so much wrong with this sentence grammatically, but I digress. But I would like to insert the fact that you can’t just do something. You have to do it real good…including brush your teeth…real good.
  9. When you go out this house, you represent me. So don’t look a mess…even if you think it’s cute.
  10. Can I have… As they gawk at your shoes, shirt, or jewelry. Ehh no.
  11. Well… This often is the preface to something you probably don’t want to hear. (i.e. well, if the shoe fits)
  12. [Fill in name] is French. Well... *drops mic*
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