[Sees picture.]this guy

He’s kinda cute.

[Clicks picture. Views more pictures.]

He’s cute but looks a little weird.

[Oh. He’s online. Click to chat. Small talk.]

Then it begins…

Him: Can I ask you a question?

Me: What?

Him: Nevermind.

Me: Whatever?

Him: I don’t want to ask. You may feel some type of way.

Me: Well, you won’t know if you don’t ask. And we won’t know if I’ll feel a type of way if you don’t ask.

Him: It’s been over 10 months since I’ve been in a relationship. Do you ever get in the mood?

Me: Of course. It’s human. [How old is he? 3? Now more skeptical than before.]

[More small talk as I jokingly antagonize him about the wife beaters he had on in his pic. Sexy, much?]

Him: I wanna talk sexy to you, but… (I can’t remember what he said)

Me: [Online guys are pervs] Yeah, it may be better that you don’t.

Him: ok

Me: [Douche]

[Block.] [Reports him to the division of all things inappropriate.]

Too drastic? I’m not really in the market for cyber sex. Go make nice with a computer mouse.

This guy.

Too sexy

And then there was the guy with his top off on 3/5 of his pics looking like all things over-the-top sexy. Dude, put on a shirt.

This guy.

**All exaggeration intended for your comedic relief. Carry on.**

Why are you still single?

Do you want to have kids?

Are y’all still together? Why not?

Are you dating someone?

Do you want to get married?

When do you plan on getting married?

Men like… [fill in the blank]

Try not being so picky.

Dear married people,

Yes I am still single. It’s not as if we don’t put enough pressure on ourselves for being single, and in a case as mine, for not having kids. These questions and comments are hurtful. We are very well aware of the fact that we are single. And for those who say maybe we shouldn’t be so picky, were you picky when you were dating? Were you selective before deciding to say yes. I mean, there’s a whole show called “Say Yes to the Dress.” If people have a hard time selecting a wedding dress, why shouldn’t I be picky about the person I choose to spend the rest of my life with?

It is not easy being single. You know else is not easy… having a ton of questions asked about it.

So before you ask another single person any of the questions on that list, please take a second to think before you decide to give advice. If advice isn’t solicited, then think before making any comments.

Someone pretty much told a friend of mine that maybe she would attract men if she didn’t have natural hair. What the older lady didn’t know is the number of men my friend turns down. Please check facts and tainted thoughts. Not welcome here.

If we wanted just any man, I’m sure the pickings are plentiful. But speaking personally, a professional, black man who is saved and truly living for God, and not intimidated by a successful woman – hard to come by.

Yes. I am picky. I deserve to be loved and provided for and respected. I deserve a man who loves God. I deserve a full package. Did you skimp when you got married? I truly hope not. I would love to spend the rest of my life with a man who I can laugh with, cry with, and more. But until that time comes, please be thoughtful before providing advice or even asking questions.

Maybe it’s out of trying to help. Just please think before soliciting advice.

*end rant*

You shouldn’t let him go.

Ladies, don’t complain about the notion that there’s no good men out there.

Problem #1: You want a saved thug. Once a thug. Always a thug. Mentally, that is. Thugs have some twisted ways of thinking

Problem #2: He’s too soft. Well, I to begin, I don’t have a soft man, but I do have a man who isn’t afraid to show his emotions, and because of that I love the heck out of him. Stop looking for someone who will fight for you..show you a little of their tough side. Instead, accept the person who simply loves because of the fact that the love you.

Problem #3: He doesn’t make enough money. Get over it. Love doesn’t come in the form of dollar bills. That is a super shallow way of thinking. Waiting for Mr. High Roller will make you pass up your number one lover. The one who would be your number one fan, not only caressing your ego, but also caressing your heart, and your dreams…encouraging your strengths and helping you grow where you are weak.

Problem #4: He’s not fine. You probably aren’t every day either. Get over it. I get the fact that physical attraction is important to many, but the truth is beauty fades. Now, I won’t lie…I have a desire for some type of physical attraction (and yes my man is fine), but if I woulda let some physical set back stop me from getting to know the man who is now the love of my life, I woulda missed out on the best thing that EVER happened to me (outside of my family and being saved.)

Problem #5: Stop comparing him to someone else or your relationship to another. Every relationship is unique. Just like the DNA of life is unique, so is your relationship with your man. Find out what really works for you and not what you think should work for you. This comes with an openness of the heart

Problem #6: Stop letting the riff raff in. Use pre-dating as tryouts. Then decide whether or not he makes the team. If he comes at you wrong, don’t give him the time of the day. That’s trash. Unless you believe you’re a trash receptacle, leave the trash where it belongs, by the curve. You have got to be smarter than that. Yes…if you let riff faff in, then you’re right – you are having a hard time finding a good man.

Problem #7: You didn’t seek God. That probably shoulda been problem #1, but honestly, we as Christians do seek God, but then we are either misguided or just decide to do what we want. Put that together and voila, recipe for disaster. Been there way too many times.

Problem #8: You’re rolling your eyes at this. You don’t have to take the advice, and it may not all be for you. But stop and think, are there really no good men, or are my expectations unrealistic? Am I looking for a trophy or love? If you can answer that question, then you may get to the bottom of your thought that there are no good men out there. Remember, love is patient, kind and not self-seeking. Can you put him before you? Question to ponder.