I want to move, but I don’t want to leave my family.

I feel like I’m living a mediocre life, but I don’t know what else to do.

I want to dream, but I’m kinda scared of dreaming. Every time I do that, I fail.

Ironically, this has seemed to be the story of this overachiever’s life as of late.

Afraid…always freaking afraid.

Afraid to take steps ahead. Not exactly sure where I want to go. (Well, I have an idea now, but that’s only of very recently.)

I’ve always had dreams of being larger than life, or at least larger than what I can currently see. I still have that dream. It hasn’t really gone anywhere. I want my name in the limelight. I want to be the best at something. I just want…something; something greater than what I have right now and something greater than anyone around me has ever done.

Well, that’s kinda hard since my cousin is the great Floyd Mayweather, Jr., but though our families are close, I’m not that close to that side of my family beyond my first cousins, aunts and uncles. So, in my world, his fame doesn’t dictate my decisions. But, as usual, I digressed.

Let’s get back on track. Journey with me as I try to unfold this state of – well lack of – progression. Frankly, most of the journey has been documented here.

1) Work disappointment. Two years ago, I was very abruptly laid off from my job during the middle of great forward movement.

2) I was in the middle of an emotionally abusive relationship at the same time.

3) I feel like I failed miserably at RRP Marketing. Between not feeling like I was “doing it right,” stressing over clients, and fighting for money from clients made me call it quits. I was no longer feeling it. Lots of compliments. Not a lot of income. I felt like a bafoon in front of my friends and a fake to those I was working with to be honest.

4) I felt very discouraged at my current employer to the point where I asked my boss to go part-time. I was just not fulfilled and felt I had so much more to offer to the world. (I don’t do well when I don’t feel like I’m being challenged…and the paycheck was good.)

5) In the relationship realm, the struggle is real. The stuff I go through with guys has been ridiculous. I’ve had one person disappear and another call me the week after a breakup for sex. If you know me, you’ll know…I can have my moments, but to think you’re going to use me…I’m not about that life. I am too good for that. (Ladies and gents, there are times when it’s okay to remind yourself you are too good for some things.) And for the one who just disappeared, now that just caught me off guard. Talk about being embarrassed.

So the desire to keep pressing has been a bit disconcerting. Frankly, after some of the things I went through, I just needed a break. And the break was good.

But now I think it’s time to get back on the bike and start riding. Start dreaming and pressing toward those goals. That’s what makes my world goes ’round. It’s what makes me excited. Being an overachiever is what makes me tick.

Being laid back was cool for a while, but it’s time for Gina P. to come back and take this world by storm. (That’s the sassy, don’t give two craps in the most positive way you can think, hilariously fun-loving, Gina). And I’m gonna do it.

I’m about to have fun on this journey again.

Watch out friends. Goal-setting, anyone?

Stay true,

Gina
Mission: Bring hope to the hopeless.
Vision: Eliminate “I can’t”

Boy, was I on an emotional trip. I was truly freaking out.

Here’s the thing, I’m not used to not knowing where I want to go in life, nor am I used to not knowing what get’s me going. So when the conversation of goals, future and career planning came about, I freaked…and I mean for about 3 days. I couldn’t get it off my mind. However, after I wrote this post, it all became so much clearer.

Let’s start with the epiphany: I don’t live for my career? I was not put on this earth to merely be a marketer, have fund and make and spend money. No! That is only a means to an end; a small piece of the puzzle. Instead, purpose is what drives me. I may not think of this purpose every day and it may not always be in my mind, but it is the reason why I’m on this earth.

At a high level, my purpose is to create change. I noticed years ago that when I’m involved in something, that something is in the midst of a change. At work. At school. At church. Even in extracurriculars. And while change is often annoying, it’s a catalyst for progress.

Don’t get it twisted. I can’t say that I always like change. It takes time. It can be frustrating. You have to go through forming, storming, norming, and performing…and so much more…and just when you think you’ve gotten to a good spot, it’s time for more change. Frankly, change can be downright uncomfortable.

However, as stated earlier, change is needed to light the fire under progress. Like Einstein said, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. (Yep…I totally used a cliché. It was so appropriate.)

And this is where I come into the picture. I come to challenge the status quo and inspire young men and women of color to be a better them. I am more than tired of seeing African-American men and women living substandard lives. I feel like if I – the girl from the ‘hood who had a goal of being a mom by 18  – can make it, so can you.

It’s true, the struggle is real, as the saying goes, and you often become what you see and hear. And if you have constant reinforcement of “struggle”, then what else should you believe? I want to share a different story; a different experience to inspire youth to believe in their potential. To not succomb to teen pregnancy, dropouts, drugs, single parenthood, and so much more. But to showcase their INTELLEGENCE, STRENGTH, BEAUTY, KIND-HEARTEDNESS, THOUGHTFULNESS, and LOVING NATURES. Because that is who they really are – because that is who they are. (DO YOU HEAR ME. THAT IS WHO YOU ARE!) And the only way this message can be conveyed is by doing literal show and tells of the reality of today’s African-American.

We don’t all struggle. We aren’t all victims of violence. And NONE of us are stupid.

You do have a future.

Let’s face it. The world is full of inequalities. We’ll most likely living this reality our entire life, whether it’s racial inequality, class disparity, or gender inequalities. But it’s still your life and we all deserve as much as we can get out of it. And after you’ve seen what can be yours, it’s up to you to believe it and go get it. There are plenty who will walk with you. But even if you have to walk alone at times, it’s still yours. So go out there and get it. And don’t forget to reach back to help someone else while you’re fighting and after you’ve “made it.”

**please clap as loudly as you like as all graduates cross the stage**