“You are the source of my life. You are the source of my strength. I lift my hands in total praise to You.” – Richard Smallwood
America. We stink.
I thought of several short essays I could write for this post of affirmation, but this is what resonates right now.
I could’ve written an eloquent letter to my black men letting them know just how much I loved them; how I admire them for their poise and persistence during this tumultuous time.
I could’ve written a letter to people with fairer skin about the plight of the people and why it’s time that the message of Black Lives matters started to resonate.
I could’ve written a message full of anger and and hate. But that’s not my style.
It hasn’t been for quite some time.
THE PROVERBIAL CHIP ON EVERYONE’S SHOULDER
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post about getting past the “b” word. I allowed people to assume what the “b” word was. In reality, the “b” was for bitter.
I’m not sure if bitter ever has a place? In food, it’s hardly ever regarded as a positive note. In life, it’s what we like to call people who seem to have this everlasting chip on their shoulder.
And that’s what we’re seeing today. A lot of bitterness living out loud.
People are bitter – standing with the presumptuous chip on their shoulder. But the reason for the chip is different.
Blacks have a chip on their shoulder because from the day the majority of us were brought to this country, we’ve had to fight. We’ve had to fight to live. Fight to eat. Fight to get married. Fight to rest. And for centuries, we’ve been fighting for equal rights.
Generation after generation, we’ve run, hidden, fought physically, picketed, marched, and staged sit-ins. In the midst of all this, generation after generation, we’ve continually been told we’re not good enough. We’re ugly. We’re only good enough for sports. We’re not smart. We’re stupid. We are not the elite. And when we finally do something for ourselves, we’re told we’re racist and separatists.
No homie. We’re just trying to survive.
This is survival, yo.
And then there are people who don’t look like us who have a bitter chip on their shoulder for multiple reasons: Some think we’re taking their jobs. Some think we’re not good enough for the sons or daughters. Some think we shouldn’t have the same rights. They think we’re inferior.
Then there are those who think we should “be over” the “slavery thing.” Some think we haven’t worked hard enough; they think we’re riding on a free pass. They think our men are dangerous or drug dealers.
Then there are some who feel they are (and may be being) blamed for the plight and hurt of people of color. So they rebel. Or maybe they harbor feelings of hurt because they can’t understand why they have to bear the burden of things that happened long before they were even born.
Ultimately, this bitterness stems from hurt, fear, pride, and rejection — sometimes all combined.
IT AIN’T JUST YOU
I know because I have experienced this bitterness. It’s a bitterness that I have to keep in check — appropriate it for the right moments, places and times.
Yes, I get ticked off when I go to work and don’t know whether the person walking the halls are friend or foe. Yes, I question whether or not a “friend” is no longer speaking to me because of my outspoken nature surrounding the Black Lives Matter campaign. Yes, I get ticked off when I think that I may not be getting a promotion or treated fairly because of my race.
But then I’m reminded of my friends who’ve brought their kids around me. Laughed with me. Joked around with me. Watched me cry. Those FRIENDS are white.
I’m reminded of the promotion and support given by my white boss. I’m reminded of the encouraging words white people have said to me as they’ve watched very vulnerable steps I’ve taken in this journey. I’m reminded of the white people – adults and teens – who joined the picket line with me…and those who stopped to simply say “we agree.”
If all people who didn’t look like us were our enemies, I wouldn’t have stories like this.
In the midst of all of this, we must stop. Pause. Remember racism is an individual thing.
Just like we don’t like stereotypes to be applied to us, we must implement the same thinking and behavior.
Finally, I’ve learned we must be willing to be vulnerable enough to share our stories and compassionate enough to hear the other side. We must be willing to speak as well as to listen, even to those who don’t share the same view points.
C IS FOR CONVERSION
If we don’t have any other example, we can think about our conversion to Christ.
There was a time when we were on the other side of the Jesus fence. We couldn’t stand Christians. We just didn’t get them. And thought, why would we give up our “freedom.”
Those on the other side of the fence knew there was so much more to gain on the other side, but we had to be willing to cross to the other side.
America. We have to be willing to cross to the other side. There’s so much to gain on the other side of hate, anger, separation and inequaltiy.
To my fellow black Americans, be righteously angry, but sin not.
To my fellow white brothers and sisters, know that all we want is equality. Not perceived equality, but one where we don’t have to worry about who is calling us the “N” word behind our back. One where we don’t have to hide who we are when we go to work…or to a restaurant…or to a club…or to the mall. One where we don’t have to worry about being “the good black.” Where you’re no longer referred to as “one we can trust.”
We should get to a point where we’re simply referred to as people. PEOPLE.
Is it going to take time to get there? Absolutely.
Will we ever get there? Probably not.
But we can get closer.
We’re closer than ever before so let’s keep moving.
HOW TO GET THERE
It all starts with you. It’s a matter of your heart. His heart. Her heart.
The bible says that what a man thinketh, so is he. It also says to be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
We have a lot of things to unlearn, America. Ignoring it like a moldy leftover pot that’s been left in the sink for too long isn’t going to help. The only way we’re going to get the smell to go away is by putting in the work.
Examine your biases. Check yourself. Identify how you can make a difference. Then do the work.
If it’s by picketing, do it. If it’s by breaking down the barriers and having the tough discussions with people who look like you and those who don’t look like you, do it. If it’s by simply affirming within yourself that you won’t let another day go by living in hate, do it. Do whatever it takes to bring unity AND equality.
It’s time to start cleaning up this stinkin’ thinking and move on because #weareone.
I will not go another day with hate and unforgiveness in my heart. It starts and ends with me. I will be the difference.
Lord, help me to not allow my heart to be a residence for hate. Lord, replace hate, bitterness, and anger with your joy and peace. Help me to live the life that you’ve taught me to live; one where I love my neighbors as I love myself. Lord, the world is ugly; America is ugly, but there is not one hurt that you cannot heal. Help us heal. Help us to not only cover up the bruises. Let us feel the hurt. But then let us move on. Let us do the hard work. Help us to cry in front of one another. To argue, but utltimately to not let the sun go down on our wrath. Bring unity. Bring joy. Bring genuine laughter and peace.
Lord, we will lift our eyes to you. Amen.
See you next Wednesday.
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